Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
