Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
