I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
