Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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