I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
