I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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