I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
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