did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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