spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
