i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
How external is "for external use only"?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
