Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
