my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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