Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
