I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
