Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm both gender and math confused
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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