If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
