I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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