i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize