How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
