My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize