I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
