we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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