At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
