think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
