I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
