I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
