What a fucking waste of an outfit
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
When are your genitals available?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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