I wish I could punch you in the face.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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