Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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