Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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