It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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