i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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