Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
