i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
