someone get that fucking seahorse.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Come see our sink grown plant.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
