Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
