I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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