i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
