hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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