i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Randomize
