I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
