just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
