We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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