Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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