It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
