I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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