dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
