NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
