VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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