You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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