I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I think people are normalizing furries
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
