you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
