you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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