New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize