just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Randomize
