My liver just broke up with me...
Duck Duck Cougar?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
