My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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