Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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