So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
