Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
