You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize