i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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