My sheets look like a crime scene.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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