I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
