Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
