he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
