This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
