You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
